


In Return

by tigs



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-11 04:01:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2052804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigs/pseuds/tigs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zelenka does a favor for a friend. [Zelenka, McKay, Sheppard. PG. Set post-Trinity.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Return

There is a certain way that Rodney hovers when he wants something—there, but off to the side, almost looming, and usually it is in conjunction with him wringing his hands. After two years, plus, of knowing him, Radek is used to it, so when he feels Rodney come up beside him, Radek just says, "What do you want?" and does not look up from the Jumper system panel that he is poking at. Not until Rodney clears his throat for the second time, anyway, a little cough-cough, cough-cough. 

Even then, though, after Radek looks up, Rodney does not speak. He just twists his hands some more, smiling nervously, so Radek rolls his eyes, and says, "Is there something that I can help you with? Or will you just stand there all day and provide distractions so that neither of us accomplishes as much as we wish to?" 

"What, I can’t just come visit?" Rodney asks, an odd grimace on his face, which means, Radek thinks, that he is probably trying to look innocent. Radek doesn’t even have time to shake his head, though, before Rodney realizes himself how inane he sounds, because he continues: "No, no, you’re right. I have a favor to ask of you." 

"A favor," Radek repeats, and then he sighs. 

He steps down from the stepladder that he has spent the better part of the day on, blissfully tinkering with the Jumper 9’s control panels, sets his screwdriver down on the top step, and then goes to sit himself on the nearest bench in the back of the Jumper. He motions for Rodney to take the seat across from him, the one on which there is only a small amount of space between crystals and computers and a mixture of Earth and Atlantean tools. 

He says, "Tell me of the favor, and then tell me what you’ll be doing for me in return." 

He watches Rodney open his mouth, and is pretty sure that he’s going to point out that his doing something in return makes it more of a trade-off, rather than a favor, but he proves that he is a smart man by closing his mouth again. Gingerly, Rodney sits down on the bench, he leans forward, and then he looks to the floor. 

"I am going to resign from Sheppard’s team," Rodney says a moment later. "Take a leave of absence, something." Still, he is not looking at Radek, but he sounds as if it is taking great effort to form each word with his mouth. "I was going to put your name forward as my replacement. Thus, favor." 

Radek blinks, then blinks again. He feels his mouth moving, in an attempt to form words, but there is cosmic good will towards him apparently, because no sounds come out. He is afraid that he would say ‘yes.’ He is also afraid that he would say, ‘absolutely not,’ or possibly, ‘do you really hate me _that much_?’ That is the phrase he is most worried about saying, because he knows that Rodney means for this to be a compliment. It is Rodney’s way of saying that he trusts Radek to do as good a job on the planets as Rodney himself does. 

Radek is not Rodney, though, and he is not a person who can look an unknown danger in the face, and then willingly go back and do it again the next week. Known dangers, yes, dangers that he cannot avoid, yes, but willingly walking into unknown situations that do not always hold the promise of great scientific gains? It is not his idea of a good time. 

After a breath or two of silence, already growing too long, Radek says the only thing that he can think of that is appropriate: "Have you talked about this at all with the Colonel? Or with Dr. Weir? Dr. Heightmeyer?" 

Rodney’s face goes gray when Radek mentions the Colonel, and he is shaking his head back and forth by the time Radek mentions Dr. Weir and Dr. Heightmeyer. Radek could have predicted this, though, because though Rodney is a very intelligent man in the laboratories, or whenever he needs to do science related things, he is not as smart out of the lab. 

"They would have tried to talk me out of it," Rodney says. "Or at least Heightmeyer would have, and Elizabeth, too, even if she’s still hardly speaking to me." He laughs, bitterly, then looks back down at his hands again. 

Radek waits for a moment, but Rodney does not mention the Colonel, and Radek has his own suspicions as to why. Rodney, he thinks, is afraid that if he _does_ try to talk to Colonel Sheppard about it, the Colonel _will not_ try to talk him out of it. 

"And the Colonel?" Radek prompts, even though Rodney may think it cruel of him. It is not Radek’s job to make this easy, though, because it should not be an easy decision. Rodney should not let it _be_ an easy decision, because Rodney may complain, he may do the bitching and the moaning, but he does enjoy going off world. It is a way for him to test himself, Radek decided during their first few months in Atlantis, because Rodney is a man who needs constant challenge. He must constantly be in movement, doing things, or else he will go stir crazy. 

A stir crazy Rodney, Radek knows, is not a Rodney that any of them should be forced to deal with. 

In front of him, Rodney does not answer, and he does not answer, and then, in the moment before Radek is about to elaborate on his question, ask again, Rodney sits up straight, swallows once, largely, and looks Radek directly in the eye. 

"Sheppard doesn’t trust me," Rodney says, then swallows again. "He says that he’s sure I’ll be able to earn his trust back eventually, but eventually is not now, and he shouldn’t be forced to go out in the field with someone he doesn’t trust. Doing that could get him killed, could get us all killed." 

Rodney slumps down again then, shoulders drooping, his chin coming down to his chest, and that is the problem, Radek realizes; yes, it is as he thought. 

He has always thought that Rodney and Colonel Sheppard had an interesting relationship, and for many months, he did not understand how they could be that close, as the friendship between military men and science men is generally not that good. But lately, he has spent more time with Colonel Sheppard himself, and he has grown to see, too, to begin to understand. 

He doesn’t know if Rodney thinks of the Colonel this way himself, but over the last few months, Radek has come to think of the Colonel as a numbers man dressed in military clothing. 

This is what Radek does know: Colonel Sheppard and Rodney are what one might call ‘very good’ (if not ‘best’) friends. He knows that they are better together than they are apart, that they balance each other out. One is reckless danger, the other overly cautious; one is a man in search of the ever-elusive ZPM energy readings, the other just tries to keep them all alive. Rodney may do his bitch and his moan at the Colonel, but Radek has seen the Colonel do the bitch and the moan right back. 

It will be very bad, he thinks as he sits here, looking at a defeated Rodney, if they do not work their differences out. He feels a small flare of indignation then, on Rodney’s behalf. They _should_ work their differences out, he thinks, because after all _Radek_ has forgiven Rodney for telling the whole Control Room that he was _wrong_ and _professionally jealous_. If such a man as himself can be big enough to forgive Rodney, Radek is sure that the Colonel, being much bigger, should be able to, too. 

He must, he thinks, and in that moment he decides that it apparently is up to him to _talk_ to the Colonel and make him see the light. 

"Well?" Rodney asks finally. "Can I put your name forward? Can I tell Sheppard and Elizabeth that you’d be willing?" 

Again, Radek blinks. He is good at fast thinking—he has to be, to have come here—but now he must come up with a way of stalling Rodney, so that he has a chance to fix this. He swallows and says, "Give me until tomorrow. I will give you my answer tomorrow." Then, lest he sound suspicious, he says, "If I say yes, we will then talk about what you will be doing for me, yes?" 

Rodney nods his head once, seemingly satisfied, and then he stands up again. "Yes, yes, okay," he says. "I guess I’ll see you later then." 

"Yes," Radek says. "Later." 

He stands up, too, as Rodney leaves the Jumper, and even goes so far as to pick his screwdriver up off of the top step of the stepstool. Then, as soon as Rodney is out of sight, he pulls his life signs detector from his belt, and watches as Rodney’s dot moves out of the Jumper Bay and turns down one of the hallways. It is the way back to the lab, not towards the offices, and Radek sighs in relief, because it is essential that he talk to Colonel Sheppard before Rodney does. _Essential_ , or else he might very well become an expert in off world adventures himself. 

Carefully setting down his screwdriver again, he tiptoes towards the back door of the Jumper and peers around the corner, even though he knows that he is the only one in the room. He is on a semi-stealth mission, though, so it feels appropriate, even if he will only look more suspicious out in the hallways of Atlantis, doing such a thing. With that thought, he straightens himself up, and confidently walks down the ramp, out the main doors to the Bay, and makes the turn towards the Control Room. 

* * *

Colonel Sheppard is sitting at his desk when Radek knocks on the window beside the doorway, so that the door does not slide open before he is invited in, and not only is he sitting, Radek sees, he is bent over paper work, apparently actually filling it out. Colonel Sheppard does not seem to be a paperwork sort of man to Radek, but he supposes that everyone must do it sometimes. 

He is apparently right about the Colonel not being that sort of man, though, because as soon as Radek knocks, the Colonel glances up, looking relieved, and the door opens so that Radek can enter. 

"Dr. Zelenka," Colonel Sheppard says. "This is a surprise. I thought I heard that you had a Jumper project going on. I wouldn’t have expected you to surface so soon." 

This is something that Radek would like to talk about with the Colonel, of course, but he knows that if he indulges in small talk now, it will be that much harder to steer the conversation in the direction that he needs it to go. He says, "Rodney just came to see me, Colonel." 

He tries to think of the right way to say the next thing, to give the purpose of the visit, without it sounding as if Rodney is trying to usurp the Colonel’s authority in choosing his team, or that Rodney doesn’t even want to _be_ on the team anymore, when he so obviously does. 

When he mentions Rodney’s name, though, some of the friendliness goes out of the Colonel’s face; he is not looking as welcoming anymore, more wary, and maybe, although it could just be because Radek wants to see it, a little bit hurt. 

"Uh huh," Sheppard says slowly. "And what did McKay want?" 

Radek takes a deep breath. "This is really something that Rodney should be telling you, Colonel, but he has made it my business now, so I feel as if I must act." 

"Okay." Again with the slow speaking, and also with the wariness, although Radek is pretty sure that he sees some worry there, too. Worry is good. Worry means, Radek thinks, that all is not lost between the Colonel and Rodney; that things may still be salvaged. 

It is good. 

Now he is at the crux of the conversation, though. This is where he tells the Colonel what it is that he wants to tell him. Simple, he decides, is better. "Rodney approached me," he says, "to see if I would be willing to have my name put forward as his replacement on your team." 

Whereas Rodney went gray during their earlier conversation, the Colonel goes white. One minute, he is a healthy looking man, the next, Radek would say that he is attempting to do an imitation of a ghost, and then the next, he has flushed red. His eyes flash, and Radek has seen this side of Colonel Sheppard before, yes, but never before has he been this close to it. Never before has he been sitting across the desk from the man when he is like this. 

"He wanted to _what_?" Colonel Sheppard asks, lowly, dangerously. His fingers are curling themselves up into fists on top of his piles of paperwork, and suddenly Radek is very glad that there _is_ a desk between them. He is also glad that the Colonel is as disciplined a man as he is, because otherwise, Radek is pretty sure that he’d be up against one of the walls right now, babbling out everything he knows before his air runs out. Then, before Radek can stop him, Colonel Sheppard is pushing the button on his radio and is saying, "McKay. My office. _Now_." 

Radek says, "No, no," but it is already too late. All he can do now is hope to convince the Colonel that Rodney needs to be forgiven. He does not have much time now, so he decides to take a chance and hope that he is right. He decides to say exactly what he is thinking: "I do not think you are mad at Rodney anymore." 

Colonel Sheppard blinks at him. Slowly, and Radek is suddenly sure that he is on the right track, because there would be no need for the threatening gleam in the Colonel’s eyes if Radek is wrong, now would there be? No, there wouldn’t. 

"And why would you say that, Dr. Zelenka?" His voice is cool now, lazy and distant. 

"Because I think you are mad at yourself," Radek says. "I think that you are mad because you do still trust him, but you don’t want to." 

"You’ve got it backwards," Colonel Sheppard says, leaning a bit farther forward. Radek, in response, finds himself leaning back. "I want to trust him, and I don’t." 

"I might believe that," Radek says, "if you had already forgiven him. Or, if you had already asked him to resign from your team. But you have not, on both counts." He pauses, takes a deep breath. "We both know that Rodney is only human, Colonel, and that as such, he is bound to make mistakes. We might wish it is not so, of course, but it is true. And we also know this: being Rodney, it only makes sense that his mistake is on a solar system-wide scale rather than, say, a petri dish-wide scale in one of the laboratories." 

The Colonel actually chuckles at that and Radek starts to wonder if he is getting through. If he will have enough time to convince the Colonel before Rodney arrives. He is a fast walker, Radek knows from personal experience. He has another minute, maybe two, maybe less. 

"I don’t know whether it is the same for you," Radek continues softly, "but I find it is much easier to forgive other people than it is to forgive myself." 

There is a beat there where the Colonel’s face goes entirely blank, a second where Radek starts to see some emotion in his eyes, slowly building, warring. On beat number four, that look is replaced by one that is purely speculative. It is just in time, too, because behind him the door slides open, and Radek can tell that it is Rodney simply from the look on Colonel Sheppard’s face. 

The Colonel says, "Come on in, McKay. Dr. Zelenka was just leaving, weren’t you, Doctor?" His voice is friendly again, and Radek is glad to hear it. It bodes well, he thinks, for the conversation that is inevitably coming. At that moment, Colonel Sheppard stands up from his desk, so Radek stands, too. The Colonel says, "I will definitely take what you’ve said into consideration, okay, Doctor? And thank you." 

That is Radek’s cue to leave, he knows, so he turns around and comes face to face with Rodney, who is looking even worse than he did while taking to Radek in the Jumper. There is no arrogance there now, only hurt and betrayal, and he is looking at Radek as if he is a traitor. Maybe he is, Radek thinks as he meets Rodney’s gaze, to betray Rodney’s confidence like this, but he does not feel guilty. 

No, he prefers to think of it as doing a favor for a friend. 

"Thank you, Colonel," Radek says, nodding his head once in the direction of each man. "Rodney." 

He walks out of the office, then, letting the glass doors slide shut behind him. He walks until he is far enough down the hallway to turn into a little alcove, to stop and peer back at the Colonel’s office, so that he can see, if not hear, what’s going on. 

Already the Colonel is yelling, but Rodney, Rodney is standing up straighter than he’s stood in days; Radek is glad to see it. A moment later, he sees Rodney interrupt the Colonel, cut him off with a slice of his hand. He starts talking quickly, maybe yelling back, waving his hands around to illustrate whatever point he is trying to make. This is progress, Radek thinks as he watches. Catharsis, which is what they needed. He looks back at the Colonel, wanting to see his reaction to whatever it is that Rodney’s saying, and what he sees is what he’s been hoping for. The lines of the Colonel’s shoulders are not as tense as before, he is no longer clenching his fists, and there is what looks to be a small smile on his face. 

Radek smiles himself, and then he leaves the alcove, making his way back to the Jumper Bay. 

"Yes, Rodney," he says to himself. "I will do you a favor. And tomorrow, we will talk about what you will do for me in return…" 

End


End file.
